Punch Up: “To Me My ❌-Men”
Chapter Thirty-Three:
1985
September, 1985, New Mutants Special Edition Vol. 1 No. 1 by Adams, Austin, C. Schelle, L. Buhalis, Orzechowski, Claremont + Nocenti
October, 1985, X-Men Giant-Sized Annual No. 9 by A. Adams, Gordon, Mignola, W. Simonson, P. Scotese, Orzechowski, Zalme, Claremont + Nocenti
Mixtape tracks: Makes No Sense At All by Hüsker Dü; & Fallen Angel by Possessed;
Chapter 33 of “to me my ❌-Men,” in which we tell tale of the time Ororo was Goddess of Thunder, Dani was a Valkyrie, and thier teams get into it with Hela and Loki Asgard.
Previously on “to me my ❌-Men,” Walter Simonson’s BillSif had connected with Liouse Simonson’s Power Pack. Power Pack had spent time in the Morlock Tunnels. As had Kitty, Ororo and friends. Ororo was back to being worshipped like a goddess. The New Mutants had been spending to much time in other folks mind games. Rachel has been struggling in her own mind to keep the tack of her emotions and timelines in what seems more and more like the Multiverse. And speaking of which, the Multiverse has been mentioned in a masterpiece work by Art Adams and Ann Nocenti as they introduced us to a power hungry chaotic thinker who was remodeling a white home in his visage.
Yes, it’s 1985?!? Why?!? I’ll prove it! Longshot is in leather and has a mullet.
I have spent over 4 decades learning, thinking, and discussing this stuff. 5 if you count cartoons and tv time. And honestly, I still didn’t at all ways know where this exercise was going to take me. Like I said, I have flirted with it before, but this really is kinda blowing my mind, what I am learning and putting together here. Understanding, this is a pretty selfish (flawed) approach.
This is unfolding on way more dimensions than I expected. To many to list, but what Lonshot just made me realize is, I am exploring the path that lead to Image Comics (technically my publisher). In a way I have not done so before.
I am also returning to my graduate thesis, as I am looking under the hood at a critical juncture in terms of the Marvel business from the product side of things.
In both cases, I don’t plane on loosing focus, but there are details that applicable to those conversations. And highlighting them, as with seemingly other random thought is aligned with thinking as an artist, a cartoonist and in terms of comics. As all these are integrated curriculum.
On the Image front, right now in looking at Art Adams here, occasionally thinking about Sienkiewicz, Miller, Walter, Mazzucchelli, you can see the cultural AND the art informing what is to come very soon. Specifically the Art Adams and Marc Silvestri part. It’s also a place where the integration of “to me my ❌-Men,” and the ❌-thetics turning into the Marvel Pull List from 1939-1984 so far and being aligned here, it is building a visual understanding of not just my taste, but the history of the Marvel aesthetic. It informs the culture and business narrative in really impactful ways. It also is beginning to illuminate aspects with new to me perspectives. That will result in a division and set up and knock down of dominos that result in our MCU discussion and the existence of FFW too. Does this warrant a larger discussion about Image here?! We will see.
Also on the business front is the history of ownership of Marvel. We talk all the time (or I do) about how Timely began. How it became Atlas. How Atlas faltered and why. How it became Marvel and Marvel flourished, but not at all like the narrative we hear. But we loose track of and honestly don’t talk very much about the film and cartoon ownership piece. The accessories and toys. The ownership of these products and licensing. And one reasons is it’s not an easy linear discussion. But as 1985 becomes 1986 and we see 1986 through to the end, it all the sudden becomes more organized and frankly more interesting. Of course my telling of “to me my ❌-Men,” will end right when that story starts to get really dramatic. With good reason. However, noting the lead up creatively to that story and the development of Image Comics has value in these larger discussions.
For now, let’s just say, this comic issue is part of a larger discussion, informing the future of comics, superheroes, and well beyond what was being considered at the time. All these chapters are tiny aspects of a much larger story.
New Mutants Special Edition, is new to me. Only discovering its existence recently. The cover is a busy Art Adams page, that manages to isolate Illyana’s form. Of course it does. Sicko.
The opening page is on point, as it centers Ororo in her current costume. Metal skeletal hosts to the page above her presents us the title: “Home is where the Heart is” Ororo is in battle, welding a sword, supported by a tiny Bill and Magma.
Turn of the page reveals a contemplative Loki on the edge of a rocky seat, viewing a crystal ball of Ororo. He reveals her name means beauty, and then he takes that though strait into the gutter. The male gaze and power fantasy is coming from within the comic.
He admires her gumption.
And so because we are on a green and yellow palette, Enchantress shows.
They conspire to use the ❌-Men in a plot to rule Asgard.
On Midgaurd’s island of Kirin’s, Ororo is bringing a meal to her student, Xuân, whose form is to much for herself. While I respect that the struggle is real, and appreciate that the appearance is depicted at all, the context and how it is presented is about as wrong as you would expect. I am not here for this framing. Especially since it goes straight to the bleakest of options. Ororo, in these creators hands, for its time, does what she would do, and pushes back, trying to frame the path Xuân is suggesting as giving the Shadow King his victory. Ororo also embraces Xuân, and for a moment there is a glimpse of body positivity.
A turn of the page, to a beach scene, washes this away.
Warlock is playing to laughs, as a human form, that I thought was Peter, but I guess it is himself. He ends up in a two piece which is cute. Illyana, and Doug are having their fun with it. As nice as they can be.
Berto is playing Greg Louganis, which I appreciate, as he is a local legend for me. The mutants are attacked by giant sea serpent monster. But it is just Dani, testing her teammates, while they are vacationing.
As soon as they are done complaining, the sky shifts…something is off.
Armored warriors on flying horses emerge and defeat the Mutants, as Ororo is taken in by Loki and transformed into the Goddess of Thunder.
Enchantress has Illyana.
Xuân finds herself in a desert, lost. Despite Ororo’s words, she is ready to give up.
Doug finds himself in a viking party…and is forced to do dishes.
Rahne is amongst giants, and another wolf.
Warlock is with a fetching dragon. He changes from and looks like Longshot, in a ❌-Men student costume. Hela is right behind him.
Sunspot is arm wrestling in a crowd.
Magma is drinking with fairy folk.
Sam is with ork or a dwarf or something like that.
Mirage meats Brightwind and begins path towards being a Valkyrie.
Enchantress is playing with Illyana’s age…something she is accustom to, but the abuse continues into exploring her demon form.
In a scene out of Dune, Xuân is confronted by a demon snake monster.
The scenes alternate, bringing in the Warriors Three to Berto, reducing Xuân’s form and bring in someone to nurture as she finds her way back to a self she desires. Eventually the scenes, bring the team back together to the aid of Illyana, who’s torture has been real enough.
Illyana: “a b o u t b l o o d y t i m e.”
They best Enchantress. and S’ym takes her for Illyana. Warlock morphed into Gumby…a theme with Art. The Mutant’s seek to confront Loki, himself. And so…
The subtitle on the cover is: “The Saga of STORM Goddess of Thunder!™️
The corner box is stuffed with floating heads; New Mutants and ❌-Men; Roberto, Sam, Xuân, Scott, Ororo, Rachel, Piotr, Rogue, Kitty, Kurt, Amara, Dani, Logan, Rahne.
Art’s cover, inked by Walt, is presumably an Asgardian set, with various New Mutants and ❌-Men acting in response to Storm who has Stormcaster (her Asgardian hammer) swinging, as she is in full Asguardian armoured garb. Colossus being the closest to her. A focal point being Dani’s Pegasus Brightwind.
When opening the issue the two things you notice all at once is a juxtaposition that creates a nostalgic joy. Literally on the left hand you have a Star Comics ad, centering Misty (Trina Robbins, previously mentioned), and Jim Shooter Era licensed Care Bears and ThunderCats comics. And on the other hand, “There’s No Place Like Home” in the middle with ❌-Men: Phoenix, Cyclops, Storm Colossus, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, and Rogue lined up mid shots along the top, AND guest stars along the bottoms New Mutants Warlock, Mirage, Karma, Magik, Wolfsbane, Magma, Cypher, Cannonball, and Sunspot similarly lined up. The title section has a dragon around it and a lil’ Lockheed walking on top.
It’s a fun and informative set up.
Art and team have nearly to many details and use of lines to transfer readability in newsprint reproductions. I wouldn’t change a thing. Welllllll….
Art was 22 when he was drawing this…and am struggling here to be okay with how this looks. Society and the law do not have alignment here, but let’s at least say this is pushing things from kinky to icky.
“School for Gifted YOUNGSTERS” EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE middle of the night, under attack…Kitty (16…15) is in agony. Rachel a newly minted 18 year old…in Art’s hands, come off as icky to me in terms of depiction. But am I thinking of the grown up Art, not the barely drinking age Art.
Seems all to convenient they are being woken in various states of nighttime dress.
That’s all I am saying.
Okay, this is kinda cool. Ilyana is sending a psychic message to Kitty, but for it to be read by Rachel it takes a lot of telepathic force. She is discovering the unique and specific bond, similar to twin minds. Kitty is being shown what Illyana is seeing. And now Rachel is projecting it so Rogue, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Cyclops, Madelyne, and Logan can see it.
It’s Magik in her armored gear as Darkchilde. Loki, Storm as an Asgardian, and some other woman (I think…Enchantress). Ororo is facing off against Magik.
They are noting specifically Ororo having powers all the sudden and catching folks up on Darkchilde (as we saw in the last New Mutants chapter).
Apparently New Mutants and Storm were on vacation in Greece (Isle of Kirinos).
Apparently there was an encounter with Loki last summer and that he pays his debts…we might have ignored something…but now we know what’s relevant.
According to Maddy, he also swore he would not harm them. Hah. Kitty is like…well Loki!
There are so many moving pieces on this page. Thor maybe an option, ‘cause Asguard. Chuck is in England…so not an option on the way to Greece?! Also, just lets not, seems like a great excuse. Also, isn’t he like dying?! Oh, right Scott likes to run things by him…and telepathically checking in is not a thing…maybe in his condition. Baby is due (you know who! Winner of the Thanos look alike contest), so Maddy needs to stay. Cyclops happens to have Arkon the Imperion’s book of lightning to teleport them between dimensions. And now Rachel has a new costume…well her Mom’s (not her Mom?!) old costume. This triggers Scott, Rachel sets up a healthy boundary around her Mom’s (?) stuff and Maddy is like it’s fine. Oh and now Kitty has Maddy dragon sitting.
So they leave and Maddy has a feeling this is the end of their happy relationship.
Despite a yearning for a clearer view, I am enjoying this pink lit world that The New Mutants and their teacher Ororo are in. They seem unawares as the lighting and hue of the space indicates something other than where they are in their minds eye. Amara’s little fire faery folk is a nice touch. Cannonball eludes to a future that could be, but is not in my readings here (I think). Sam: “Storm makes a pretty good teacher” She is naturally gifted and does so like breathing, but the official capacity is something that comes in another time and space. The page also featured a solid rendering by Adams of Storm in her present state.
Inside the pink school, Dani is asks for space from Rahne.
This is one of those moments when a Rahne needs to please, by contributing to a solution, while a Dani is processing in their own way their power and their responsibility as co-leader of the class. She has reason to believe her power could harm or lead to death of a classmate.
Magik, Cypher and Warlock lounge by the pink pool. Magik points out Doug’s mood. And Doug’s mood is do to his simple power. To “talk.” And Warlock: “Self will protect friend Cypherdoug!”
Magik is basically, well on this side of the fence control is an issue.
Magik: “…I can teleport through space and time - - trouble is, I can barely control it. I’m a demon sorceress, but those powers are virtually nonexistent on Earth, and anywhere they do work…their nature turns me to evil. Yet, without that part of myself, I feel incomplete. Hollow. Like being a painter, and deliberately making yourself blind.”
Suddenly the convert turns into a series of wishes being taken by each of them and they begin to turn one by one into Asgardians…and Sam appears pink to Amara (lovely drawing of Sam), and the both turn. Amara is a faery folk, and it seems nearly identical to a design of a character we will see the following year in Alan Davis’ hands.
The reveal of The Forge brings with it some awareness by Amara. Master Smith Eitri “works his wonders…”
We arrive mid story…by design.
They are forging a hammer for Storm, to help free her and best the “Lord of Lies.”
Sam and Magma’s powers were very helpful to Eitri in casting the metal just so.
They are good friends, friends who must part, as Sam and Amara must leave. Eitri grants them gifts for battle.
The ❌-Men arrive in a bit of an enchanted forest scene. Logan smells a wolf in distress from trolls?, that could be Rehne. I’m not sure who this shape shifting wolf is…’cause look who just showed…
She was looking for a wolf, but settled for trolls, before greeting and welcoming the ❌-Men. The goddess of death is especially keen to see Rachel. For she has mad respect for her mom.
Rachel: “You…knew my Mom?
Hela: “Yea, verily! We were the bitterest of foes, yet in her time she sent more souls into me than any who professed to serve my cause.”
Are you starting to get why I skip over her genocidal story? I am not entertained by it. She will get her moment here, but I mostly don’t care for her.
Rachel firing off a blast from her brain: “THAT WASN’T HER FAULT!” Hela: “The ‘why’ matters not…”
HELLA!!!
Asgard is being rebuilt after a war that took pace just after 350, which we read. So we read the lead up and we are here exposed to a taste of the aftermath. Pretty good timing on our part.
Warlock sores mimicking a giant eagle. He is scouting.
Magik, Cypher, Dani, Rahne and Karma (I wonder if we will get a clue here) observe on a screen what he sees. Illyana needless Doug, and Dani calls her out. I don’t know, maybe they have their own thing and Dani should back off.
Loki’s Eagle returns and he fires an arrow at Warlock, who is searching for Ororo. The screen goes black.
Dani and Doug go on a Brightwind to save him.
This writing in terms of leaps is like watching My Little Pony or Care Bears.
Illyana objects and the let’s her ego out: “IDIOTS! DON’T THEY REALIZE I’’M THE ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS?!”
She is dismissive of Karma. Karma and Rahne remain. Karma realizes that they are all under Enchantress spell, and is concerned the longer Magik is under it the more she will become like Enchantress and the more she will not wish to return home.
Considering the state we left Karma in last this is kinda rich.
Oh! So the giant eagle (or regular sized)…it was Loki using Freya’s Cloak of Golden Feathers on Ororo. Who is now back to her Asgardian look. Our first viewing. Right!?!
This is kinda cool...if you recall, I mentioned foreshadowing and a dream involving an Eagle and the on the nose title of Forge's place, Eagle tower...this adds to that Ororo thread.
Loki is providing experiences Ororo misses as Storm. A clear manipulation, but she is receptive. While a leap from Life Death, it still works.
In the forest Rachel is sharing the thoughts of the wolf. They were tracking their princess, and it is Rahne.
Scott..oh Scott: “Talk about a star crossed-romance.”
OK…so Kitty had that dream, seems like a lifetime ago…so many scene changes…and Scott is using team names “er, Phoenix,” reluctantly in some cases. He has taken on leadership role. We are sure Kurt is totally fine with this. Scott still wants to find Thor. Logan is like, “Cyke,”
Iwao Takamoto’s Muttley
And Kitty is like blown away that they are going into Asgard.
Logan: “It’s just a caper, ‘Cat.”
Which is a reminder that Kitty is still 16 15 and that on the other hand she has been through real shit more in this year or two than this simple Scooby-Doo episode.
Joe Ruby & Ken Spears’ Scooby-Doo
AND Rachel has not told Scott who she is. No wonder he is not cool with the costume and non de plume. Also, this only works, because SCOTT! Except, he absolutely heard the conversation and fight with Hela…so he would have to be even denser than we think already.
While everyone else in this story is getting sick outfits…The ❌-Men are stuck with dead Troll outfits.
Nah…Rogue found them somewhere somehow.
Roberto is loving it up with girls and ale. Dani ends the fun times. Not without her own run ins.
Art must be having a blast. Sigh.
They find Warlock. Priceless!
It seems like his processing speed is a bit behind, cause now he is firing on his friends.
Oh nope…he is overly protecting Doug.
“You looney —! Put me down!”
Tom Ruegger’s Tiny Toon Adventures
Roberto thought they belonged and would enjoy Asgard, but Dani’s power over the locals and her lack of joy has him second guessing.
Some panels are better than others. I like this “Elsewhere”
Kurt: “That’s our destination?”
…panel. Where we learn as we look with the ❌-Men and their new wolven friend upon the Enchantress castle. We learn she is the second greatest sorceresses in all the land. Karnilla is No. 1. And Loki’s power is slightly greater than the greatest sorceress.
He smells Rahne and is off…to save her.
They find Karma and Rahne, who is embarrassed as she acted like a wolf…cause she is a wolf.
Illyana: “Peter! And the Wolves! How Appropriate.”
“Most of the X-Babies ran off a while ago and pretty much left me on my own.”
Karma and Rahne are literally there.
Her ego was about to cast a spell and rescue Ororo…Scott is like, but wait…to late Loki has arrived.
Our 16th scene change in 22 pages. Ack!
Doug and Warlock are alone. Warlock needs a charge and is in his feels. Doug offers himself to Warlock. They bond physically for the first time. Our first Douglock! “WOW!?!”
Thor is not home. He took the warriors to Hel!
Sorry scene change No. 17.
Logan catches a sent.
Sam and Amara have been hoofing it this entire time, with a push cart holding a spiky egg I guess (the hammer assuming)…Kitty, Rachel and Logan find them in town.
Loki has the ❌-Men strung up and Scott is like, “your word!” And Loki is like, “to the letter.” They are fine. They are just hanging there as Art Adams like to draw folks. It’s fine.
He gives the wolves collars of obedience and he summons rock trolls as greeters.
This is kinda fun.
Kurt on his own, teleports and then kisses Rouge who can now free herself. She absorbed Scott’s blast and fires it on Loki.
And then she physically attacks Loki only…
Ororo steps in and labels Rogue Villain. But then is like: “Rogue is my friend. Loki is my friend. Friends do not harm friends.”
Giving Loki the opening he needs to turn the tables on Rogue and return Ororo to his loyalty.
Brightwind with Dani & Berto on her back flys over the city. Bobby is one of those folks who is partial to a city and has a list of greatest cities. He holds Asgard in the highest regard.
I don’t get it.
Dani: “Who are you trying to convince…?”
Rachel contacts them in the chat.
Dani sees a spirit face over Logan. Kinda looks like either the skull of Bill or Quark. But not.
All the sudden something happens at Logan, Rachel, Kitty, Sam, Amara, Roberto, Dani and Brightwing’s feet. The wolves (possessed friends) lead a monstrous army controlled by Loki against them.
Sam’s sword attacks the collar and reveals (saves) Rahne.
Just then…
ZASP!
Paul Terry, Izzy Klein, & John K’s Mighty Mouse
Douglock shows as the Starship Enterprise!!!
They win the battle just like that.
Kitty splits up the team. Kitty taking charge! Hella!!!
Logan, Berto, Doug, Dani and Warlock are going to a ceremony conducted by Loki.
While Rahne, Sam and Kitty go to free prisoners.
Rahne is scared, but Kitty gives her a pep talk and says this is the only way. You are our trackers.
Which a damn lie. Logan is right there.
Something happened to Odin (maybe death) and Thor is in Hel…maybe rescuing Odin. Leaving Loki to hold a banquet in the Hall of Heroes. He gives an effective speech, according to Rachel. Their team is in disguise.
Douglock’s IMHO is the best. But Doug says: “Warlock this is not a great disguise.”
BUT LOOK!!!!!
Dik Browne’s Hägar the Horrible
Meanwhile…Karma is trying to possess Illyana in order to free them.
That’s it. That’s the scene.
Back to the
Gardner Fox & Alex Toth’s Super Friends
Berto is being Berto…so Logan time stamps the comic: “You think this is a Game Boy?!” JK. Game Boy is four years away.
Berto: “I know the risks! I laugh at danger.” Logan: “Do tell.”
Damn…that got real…fast.
And goes on to say, Logan is a working man and Berto is a kid playing ego.
And then is like, Ororo doesn’t want to be here…she was kidnapped!
A: Kidnapped life.
B: Illyana and Berto’s egos are not the way.
Also, you were kidnapped too!
“Only difference is, (in this moment) you (Berto) got a choice!”
Logan also says he just wasted his breath and he is here for Ororo full stop.
Back at Loki’s Kitty’s team shows up just as the ❌-Men were freeing themselves.
And back at the hall..
Loki presents Ororo to the Hall.
“Fitting heir to Thor’s place should he choose to reside on Midgard, amongst the mortals he dearly loves or, Norns Forfend, ne’er return from his quest to Hel! (361-362-AnnN).
Before he can finish, Rachel makes a move on him.
But as a battle begins, Loki slips to reveal the hammer. And despite Logan’s plea….she retrieves it from fire…
And our most iconic page which brings Art and Walt aesthetics together reveals the Goddess of Thunder. WAHBOOM BADA BOOM!
As instructed, her might is placed on Logan. And his body mutters: “he’s the god of lies…that’s all he does!”
Hela arrived to claim Logan.
Storm says: “no”
And Dani on her winged stead interrupts. Hela laughs at her cosplaying as Valkyrie.
All seems lost and Ororo finds this the moment of regret.
But also understand, for this moment, she is herself, wind rider.
❌-Men follow their true leader.
Actual Valkyries approach.
Loki was actually hiding under a banquet table.
Storm and Loki ping pong the hammer. And it strikes Ororo.
So Kitty walks up to Loki and…
And so…I guess Karnilla was behind this and changed her mind.
I literally don’t understand how comics work.
And Loki is like, y’all get….or none of you get. Up to you.
And Dani will be separated from Brightwind…which is a…
And Ororo will be without power again.
Fine with me.
Lost is Storm.
Next: Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 No. 201 & X-Factor Vol. 1 No. 1
