Punch Up: “To Me My ❌-Men”

Chapter Twelve:

December, 1984, Uncanny X-Men No. 179 by Romita Jr, Green, G. Wein, Orzechowski, Claremont + Louise

Mixtape track: Mexican Caravan by Butthole Surfers

Chapter 12 of “to me my ❌-Men,” in which perhaps my favorite Marvel wedding issue, isn’t perfect, but is delicious in this way too. One where the story is feeling like it is slowly shedding that classic superhero comic zany paradox and is embracing what the vibes of this ❌-Men might actually be. What the MCU has failed to capture this far…what I have desired all along.

Previously on “to me my ❌-Men,” where in the pages of Dazzler we were at the actual San Diego Comic Con. Thanks comics! AND in another random issue off the spinner rack, or was it the 25¢ bin? We are introduced to Kitty’s new classmates, as we dip our toes into the Amazon, and then - - on second thought. We abandon the adventure comic for something slightly more “real.” As we had a pressing matter of a plan in motion by underground mutated Morlocks to kidnap our 13-year-old POV character and marry her to her stocker.

Whelp the cover certainly implies as much. Look at the happy couple.

Morlock Law, I am to comfortable with this document.

Every name I list in the credits are partners in the tell of a comics story. If you are a cartoonist, you have done both, played your part in a comic in all or one of the roles. As they say in our cousins the performance arts, “there are no small roles, only small actors.” As it is in life, it is in comics.

So when we credit Chris Claremont and refer to this as the Claremont Era, we are bestowing a historic tip of the hat to his contribution.

As we in the same breath refer to the same period as the Frank Miller Era. And do you think we center his writing in doing so? No we probably error on the side of his Penciling. And if we pull this thread things fall apart. The comic falls apart. Similarly with Springer.

When you are in my shoes, you regularly play all the roles and I am here to tell you, a page can be made by a single role, and often enough, you don’t know which hat will be the one half the time.

I say all this to put in perspective the equitability of credit, as I take a moment and acknowledge the role the penciled have had thus far 21 issues into our telling of this tale.

Anderson was striking in his one issue thus far.

Cockrum provided a window into a past I don’t care much for, because of his pencils, but the reality is, this taste is indelible and it acclimated us to this tradition of incomplete and randomized narrative consumption in the traditional habits of comics consumption.

Springer solidified a bridge to a bigger and older story aesthetic that absolutely is essential to my reading of Marvel comics. If I have an early struggle, it is that I didn’t take the time and money to aquire the complete Rogue, Mystique, and Destiny narrative in the pages of Dazzler. Through this sampling in this telling of their stories it affirmed what I already know, that their family unit is as central to this story as any, and it is underserved. What I was surprised to learn, is in my dismissiveness of Rogue doing villainy, I missed out on an aesthetic and character that shares a side of Rogue that I intend to celebrate and incorporate going forward.

Byrne, as purty as his art is, overtime it becomes symptomatic of his human nature. It is inflexible, despite a well established appetite for exploration and innovation. You can see what is true, he seems normal, but he continually on the page and in life makes choices that challenge the purity of his style.

Smith is a home run hitter who strikes out more often than not when at bat. He has the moments, often dismissively owned, that are so essential to the story, Claremont was bending towards what the audience needed, while both men didn’t seem to have the same intuition…it’s just that Smith though it amusing and so there is was. A haircut or whatever. Intent is overrated. We are in a Meta Modernist reality.

While I grew up reading Sal Buscema, as a defender of the Defenders, I didn’t fully understand till browsing almost all of Marvel to this point, that Sal really is instrumental in shaping the transition between the 70’s and 80’s at Marvel. I am thankful to have a sampling here.

The primary visual architect that drew us in, happens to be the equitable partner in the writers role. Miller was part of a group of creators who were all personally close and creatively flexing in a way that would mirror the impact of the creators at Marvel that defined periods. Miller is the face of this 5th period, which would open the door for the 6th. The one that would bring Marvel to its knees. The impact of Miller and friends is significant from about every angle. The one that I center is, artistically they exposed that the artistry in superhero comics truly has not limit when traversing a class system. Up or down.

And now we have our second Romita Jr issue. Nepotism is dismissive of what he was doing here. Lost in between Miller and Silvestri (+ Adams & Davis) is a hand that steadied the ship and brought in a balance between Kirby and Miller’s styles while also bridging the Cockrum/Byrne/Smith and the Image founders. It’s remarkable how solid and reliable Romita Jr is. Much like his father.

And so we open the comic.

Masters of the Universe ad seems aesthetically appropriate for Romita Jr.

These relatively small establishment panels are perfect design for this punk and 80’s superhero aesthetic of NYC.

The camera pulls in on the wedding prep and a crowd of Morlocks. To me there is great appeal and affinity I have for this situation. Punk aesthetic and the role the unhoused played in my youth is informed and embraced by these characters and casts of stereotypes. As I live in paradox, the horror of this being a kidnapping set up for rape is at the core of my childhood fears and life long struggle to defend against in personal ties. To me this is both comforting and what I resist.

Jo’s presence with Callisto and Kitty is poignant and brings up many familiar contexts as someone raised in a community that celebrates queer culture.

The splash page doesn’t seem to have left a previous impression. That changes today. Fuck

The juxtaposition of New Mutants problematic and unserious delivery so closely on the heels of Miller’s Wolverine, and now the pendulum swing back to a sobering horror, is really effective. We will wrestle with the struggle. Is this not Marvel!

UPDATE…Ororo (with Rogue and Logan, identifying Kitty’s body), “She is not yet 15.” Okay, so we are 14. Between December of 1980 and December 1983, we have grown up by 1 year+.

Logan’s confirmation of purpose in identifying the body, “yup.” Is exactly him and exactly this comic.

Note, “header off the Baxter building.” This is how it is done. Letting you know the Fantastic Four live in the same place and time…but not trying to force you to buy the books. Just peeking your curiosity enough, should you be inclined. Also, 60¢ is $1.88 in 2025. So accessibility is maintained for all socioeconomic situations.

The Doc thinks she is sixteen. Which underscores the sickness of this entire context.

“Storm’s face is a masque, the depth of her grief betrayed only by a trembling hand…” -Claremont

They could have chose to shown this more accurately, but there are rare occasions where the decision to describe hits a certain way.

The panel is nearly ruined by the unnecessary choice to let us know that Storm is thinking explicitly that the Baxter Building is the home of the Fantastic Four. Like we read comics, we know this. And you live in NYC in the same universe, so you are not telling yourself this. I can’t stand this heavy hand holding. The only word of the 16 words in this thought bubble that is necessary is “how?!”

Apparently the storm is powerful. Is it Storm’s emotions? If so…cool!

The dialogue between the Doc and Logan is pithy enough and the though balloons work…the dialogue allows for Claremont to flex, without being pointless as he was in the first part of the first panel.

Oh…Logan of course knows this is not Kitty. “Scents wrong.” Excellent page with exception of that first thought bubble.

The next page is a waste.

The next two place Magic, Chuck, Amanda Sefton and Kurt…tying them into what’s happening, and needlessly allowing Chuck to seem helpful in connecting what happened to Kitty.

Speaking of, back to the wedding already in progress.

I have no idea what Claremont is thinking writing this. Clever is not very smart.

I love Caliban in his outfit. The hat. Damn it Kitty, your being reasonable and pushing him trying run…Caliban’s hat!!!

“Kitty Pryde DON’T” Great Caliban quote that frankly needs to be on a t-shirt and said to Kitty more often.

Surrounded by Morlocks and Sunder has her.

Kitty’s pretentious privileged teen though bubbles are so unlikable. Her statement to Callisto’s face however is exactly a truth to power statement she should say. Calling her out for not being the leader and stating she has been kidnapped and Ororo the leader will be mad.

Callisto, “regrettably, she thinks you’re dead.” Deadpanned perfection…and she keeps slaying. She has Kitty bound by her own word and…honestly read these pages. Delicious.

Ulp Kitty just books it. Both running from her own honour and for her life.

“*In X-Men # 171-172 - - L.” Look at that we read one of those two!! As a kid reading the editors also see tie in notes use to drive me crazy…now it’s just a fun game.

These two pages are excellent, and I don’t mind that the though bubbles slow it down. Drawing out the tension and of course Kitty would be in her head. I am also OK with Romita’s misdirection panels. Makes sense she is lost. The two working together. It’s mostly solid Kitty thinking. And this is how me meet Leech. Perfection!!!!

An Ad to illustrate that we played games at the arcade and that this new fangled floppy disk could now be put in the relatively new home computer to play them at home. Fools…I had pac-man on my watch!

Fuck Leech just walked her back to wedding while we were fantasizing about a PC.

And now the actual nightmare…the only Morlock who actually scared(s) me Masque is playing with Kitty’s face. Oh snap Callisto Kitty, Caliban Kitty, Ororo Kitty (not unpacking these), no face…love that one. Oh Masque went with the Mask look (see the 80’s film). Callisto orders Masque to put her back.

Wedding bla bla…anyone object…”I do,” Ororo.

And so Ororo uses her leadership skills. Mayhem ensues.

Kitty tries to deescalate and take responsibility. Wow…that’s what I teach at my school! Where did she learn that?!

Callisto gets another agreement…so the fun will continue.

A plot thread we had missed/ignored is that Peter is frozen like Madusa. Rogue is going to solve this by touching with her skin. It works. It’s a Super science miracle! Healer helps…who is Merlin from Excalibur the film, not the comic.

“The next day, on the corner of 72nd street and Central Park West,” let’s go on a tour of NYC folks!

Kitty is with Magik about to go into the tunnel voluntarily to marry Caliban, who is empathic on her arrival and releases her from the obligation. A happy and peaceful ending.

Next: Defenders